Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
