I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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