just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize