She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
