we're blogging at a bar
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
