roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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