And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
