I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I understand Curling. That high.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
