Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
