Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
