There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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