Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
