i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
