I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
