my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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