when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
