Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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