He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
