He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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