From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
