He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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