i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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