I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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