return my video game
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
