We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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