I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My vagina just clenched in fear
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
