Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
