plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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