a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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