We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize