Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
