Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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