If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
