5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
