I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
