i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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