Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
