i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
