i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
