dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
