You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
