i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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