we have pet lesbian snakes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
