no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
