This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
