You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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