Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
pray to the hookup gods
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize