yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
