My friends, they love my intelligence
i permit you to call me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm always down for nudity.
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