Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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