hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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