now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
