Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Who did Billy Mays play for?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
