so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
