watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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