You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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